January 6th

Evening all,

This weekend has been a bit of a tough one for me, so I’m not feeling all that inspired. I did, however, stumble upon this exert from January, so I decided to share it with you:
As everyone sat there talking around me I began to feel the weight of politeness on my shoulders. I had to smile, I had to engage in conversation, I had to be present, but I didn’t want to do any of these things. The sides of my mouth were weighed down with the thoughts of yesterday’s sorrow and my eyes were glassy with the prospect of the rest of the evening. I was trapped. Sat bolt upright against a cedar chair I was trapped.

Could I make a run for it? No, that would disgrace my parents. Could I tell them all what I thought of them? No, same conclusion. So what really was I to do in the situation? I’ll tell you. I did what any person with something to hide would do. I lifted my sorrows off my smile and absorbed the liquids from my eyes and continued as if nothing had changed and nothing was wrong. 
Evidently, this was written after a family gathering, and as you can tell, we don’t always see eye to eye. Or rather, they all see eye to eye, and I am somehow blind. 

Have any of you ever been stuck in a situation like this? One you have to attend but want nothing less than to be there? 

Stay positive and keep dreaming,

Scarlett x  

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